Girls Are Supposed to Gift Chocolates to Male Colleagues on Valentine’s Day in Japan?

It’s that time of year again… hearts, chocolates, love, more hearts… Valentine’s Day! To some, a dreaded and very unwelcome day. To others, a celebratory day! How and who you may or may not be spending Valentine’s Day is something entirely personal and up to you (there is, after all, no wrong or right way to spend Valentine’s Day), but in this article, we will be outlining how this holiday is usually celebrated in Japan.

See, I said ‘usually’ instead of ‘traditionally’, because technically speaking, Valentine’s Day is most definitely not a traditional Japanese holiday. Whilst some cynics may sneer and debase Valentine’s Day as a day constructed by marketing agencies to increase consumer spending in a vicious capitalist society, others may take an easier approach and just say that Valentine’s Day is a relatively new international holiday that has been absorbed rather willingly by the Japanese population. Like in the West, Valentine’s Day is a lovers’ holiday – but there are some interesting differences.

Women Gift to Men

First and foremost, the most glaring anomaly is that in Japan, women gift chocolates to men on Valentine’s Day. Whilst in the West, Valentine’s Day is more of a mutual day of giving, where, regardless of sex, couples gift each other presents simultaneously, in Japan it rests all on the female. This is because, a month later on the 14th of March, Japan has created a whole new holiday called ‘White Day’, whereupon the men return the favour by buying chocolates for those women who gave them chocolates on Valentine’s Day.

So, on the days leading up to the 14th of February, you’ll really only see women queuing up in department stores for chocolates. Expect to see men do the same a month later.

“Honmei Choco” v.s. “Giri Choco”

Choco is chocolate. That much is obvious. So, what’s the difference between ‘honmei’ and ‘giri’ choco? Honmei (本命) in Japanese means ‘true love’ whilst giri (義理) means ‘obligation’. From the translation alone, I’m sure you know which chocolate you would rather get on Valentine’s Day: yes, that’s right, most men would prefer to receive a honmei choco. And some of you may be thinking, “What on earth is an ‘obligation chocolate’ anyway?”

Honestly? I’ve asked myself the same thing repeatedly because this is where the ‘ah, it’s a money-making scheme’ cynicism creeps in. So, in Japan, at schools and even the workplace, women are somewhat expected to buy chocolates for male friends, colleagues and superiors too – meaning that women still buy chocolate even if they don’t have a lover.

Whilst this might come across cute in a school setting, perfect for hallway confessions (like, awww how sweet Sakura-chan is buying all the boys in her class chocolates, and making a homemade honmei choco to her crush Satou-kun!), but in a workplace setting… yeah, not cute. And according to most women in the workplace, not welcome.

This obligation of buying the men on your team, your manager, your superiors giri choco on Valentine’s Day is definitely seen as old-fashioned in modern-day Japan, despite the fact that the history of Valentine’s Day is shallow in and of itself.

And yet, it’s a tradition that many women unwillingly partake in and spend money on because they feel socially obligated to. For example, does 26-year-old Sakura really want to spend over 1,000yen to buy chocolates for her mean manager? No. No, she does not but she will because that’s what is expected in her company.

Many companies are taking a more modern approach and banning the exchange of giri choco in the workplace, but this practice is still a reality for many existing Japanese companies.

So, Valentine’s Day is a very broad lover’s holiday in Japan

Sure, you can say that Valentine’s Day is a lover’s holiday in Japan, but interestingly, it is not exclusively a lover’s holiday. People can still partake in it without having a partner, as sometimes even women buy chocolates for the male members of their family.

One thing I’d recommend looking out for is the sheer excess of chocolates in February. Go to any department store food halls, and you will be inundated with chocolate galore, and let me tell you, lover or no lover, it is bloody glorious!

We hope you all have a wonderful Valentine’s Day, and pray that women across Japan don’t have to give any giri choco to their mean managers this year!